“This is Pointless”

There has been an unwelcome voice inside my head. One that weasels it’s way into my thoughts whenever I’m not ready for it. It’s message is always the same; this is pointless. Why do you even bother? You’ll never get anywhere. Save yourself the trouble and just give up. Your writing is terrible. You’re basically invisible. Everyone things you’re wasting your life so why are you still trying?
That voice is an asshole. I hate it. I am smart, independent, driven, compassion, creative and a strong woman but that voice is there.
Somedays, the voice wins.
I do what I can to silence it, reminding myself that I can and will do everything I set out to. That the future is big and vast and full of infinite possibilities I will only reach if I keep going even when it feels like trudging through wet cement.
Sometimes, it works.
Sometimes, it doesn’t and I give myself a day of binge watching my favourite TV shows or loose myself in a book, before I feel like I can handle the world again.
Self-doubt is always there, in the back of my mind just waiting to spring out and take over, and I think it’s important to remember that everyone feels like this, even the people who look like they’ve got it all together, everyone has times when they question themselves and the goals they are working towards.
For me, as prevalent as that self-doubt can be, there is no giving up. I’ve waited too long and more importantly worked too hard to give up on getting what I want now. I quit my job, I put off traveling, I made sacrifices because I take my writing seriously.
That voice can say what it likes, it can take days away from me, but it can’t make me give up. I know where I want to go, how to get there and am putting everything I have into it. I will prove that voice wrong.

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