Today I got my first rejection for my current manuscript. It’s not my first ever rejection and I know that when it comes to writing being rejected isn’t usually a reflection on your work. Having your manuscript accepted is all about finding the right publisher at the right time, but rejection still stings.
I wanted to harness the disappointment and use it productively. I wanted to jump straight back into the search for the publisher that is right for me. It worked for a few hours. It prolonged the feeling that nags at me now. Like an itch that needs scratching, I can feel to disappointment waiting for the second I let my guard down. It will flood in, and there might even be a few tears, but it won’t stop me.
At some point, fending off these feelings will become too hard and I’ll be forced to let them in. I will have to admit the hope I had invested, even when it was a long shot. I will probably feel like the biggest disappointment, and like I’m even further from reaching my dreams.
But then I’ll be okay. I’ll be back to work. More determined than ever. If I’m not a writer I don’t know who I am. If I can’t make this work I don’t know what I’ll do. This is what I’m good at. This is what I love. This is where I’ll be tomorrow, and the day after, typing away because rejection isn’t the end. It’s another set in the process. Sometimes, you just have to feel it first, then you can move on.